The Day After The Cleanse - Fail. Epic Fail.

So, today was the long-awaited (well, three-days-awaited) day to return to "real" food. The BPC authors made a point to stress that, just as it was important to prepare for the cleanse, it's important  to ease out of it. And that's pretty much what I didn't do.

I was sooooooo excited to eat real food. And I kind of let that carry me away. I started out ok, green juice then smoothie with yogurt. I know they said fruits and veggies, but I really missed yogurt and it had to return. Then blended soup and grilled zucchini for lunch. And then the rails came off. Trail mix, cereal and milk, peanut butter. God, I was so hungry!

Of course, I feel awful now. Not just physically, but my stomach is strained. I feel foggy, my head just isn't clear. And I don't want to undo all the good results and hard work I put into this.

So tomorrow I plan on going back to more juice. I don't have this balance thing down (let's be honest, I never have). On the juice, I felt in control, like I knew what I was doing. Yea, I know, I can't do this for a long time, but I feel terrible right now. I'm thinking the "Juice til Dinner" plan to ease back into food.

What I'm saying is, they're serious about having an exit plan. I wasn't, and now I'm paying the price, mentally and physically.

The Dieter's Paradox

There's a bit of a Catch-22 when it comes to all this. If you truly love and accept yourself, how can you want to change yourself? Aren't these two ideas complete opposites?

I guess the shortest answer is: it depends. It matters what your desires to change are based upon. If you look in the mirror and say "I hate (insert body part)," then you aren't actually accepting yourself. If you look at a magazine and think "I wish I looked like (insert celebrity or model)," then your desire to change is not based in improving yourself.

I think that if you do really love yourself, the idea isn't so much about change, but about preserving and improving. You want to be the best version of yourself. You want to push yourself to be better, not just more fit. It's why we continue to go to school, earning bachelor's and master's degrees. It's why we sign up for marathons or Italian lessons.

The thing we absolutely don't want to be is stagnant. You'd never set about trying to compose a masterpiece when you don't know how to play the piano, right? You accept that that's not one of your skills. You accept that you're better at math than writing. You can accept all different aspects of yourself except your appearance. That doesn't make much sense!
I strongly believe that you can't succeed in change if your desire to change is based on outside forces. It has to come from within. That's why it's so hard. Think about the people that are told they have high cholesterol or blood pressure or diabetes that then go on to change their lives. They do because their health is at risk. It's no longer about aesthetics, it's about survival.

If it were easy to change because we want to look good on the beach, then we'd all have done it by now. One of the reasons it's not easy is because we haven't accepted ourselves and, therefore, our goals are all off. I'd love to have legs like Gisele, but that's not going to happen. Ever. First of all, I'm 5'5". But, does that mean I can't have fit legs? No way. I just have to accept who I am and make a decision about what fit legs means for me.

Of course, I'm always going to push myself to do more, to be more. I keep coming back to the idea of balance. I have it in so many places in my life. This is one area where it's hard for me, but I'm gaining perspective. Sometimes the harder thing is easing up.

Fighting Back Against Clones

I guess this shouldn't all be about food and exercise. That would be pretty boring. This is about life and living life to the fullest. And, sometimes that involves reflecting and changing course.

I've been taking a class about conflict management and negotiation. You might think that really doesn't have anything to do with this blog, but hear me out (or at least keep reading). Today we talked about recognizing when you've gotten into a bad situation and how to get out. I think that can be applied to a lot of areas in our lives, relationships, financial endeavors, and even our diet and exercise plans.

Think about it. How focused are you on reaching a certain weight? On eating a certain number of calories? On running a certain distance? You've thought a lot about these things, but what do they really mean? And if you get there, what happens next? The fact is, most of us forget about being healthy in an effort to be "perfect."

And this is my next point. How awful would the world be if we were all "perfect?" I think we often get lost in the thoughts that people will only accept us if we meet these incredibly high standards that we only hold ourselves to. Physical standards, anyways.

When you think about what you like most about your spouse/partner/bf/gf (whoever), is it their rockin' bod or something else? Is it their smile, their thoughtfulness, their work ethic or sense of humor? Or are there even more intangibles that you can't quite describe because they sound dumb when you say them out loud ("he just gets me, ya know??"). It's pretty obvious that the things we value most in other people are not biceps and abs.

If we just took a moment to recognize what we like about other people, and think maybe, just maybe, people value those things about us, I bet we'd all be a lot happier. And a lot less hard on ourselves. The world would be terrible if we were all the same, so celebrate the individual gifts you have to offer.

Being in good health is important, no doubt. And, it's something that's achievable. Part of my whole plan is to focus on the things that bring me good health, like fitness and eating fruits and veggies. But not killing myself in the gym or making foods off-limits. Balance, commitment, and sustainability are what I'm after. So I'm not going to be so hard on myself (and I won't be hard on you either, I promise).

I'm Not A Hipster, I Just Bike A Lot

Nothing against those that ride bicycles ironically (whatever that means), but there are those of us that really enjoy riding bikes. Or, as my former US Cycling Team coworker would say, “cycling.” “Biking” is for nerds and the uninitiated.

I recently started biking to work. Well, I should say that I restarted biking to work. Back in 2008, when I lived in San Diego and gas prices were sky high, I didn’t see the point in driving three miles to work, so I bought a cheap bike and rode in. Unfortunately my bike was stolen shortly after I moved to DC (surprise).

I’ve decided to start again for a few reasons. First, people think it’s hot in DC in the summer, but have you been in the metro in the summer?? It’s a raging sweatfest. At least when I’m biking, sorry, cycling, I’ve got the breeze. Plus, my bike commute is 18 minutes door to door. Can’t beat that even with the bus and the train! I lock my bike outside the building gym, shower, change, and I’m in the office at about the same time.

But, more importantly, I was getting lazy. One of the best things about living in the city is walking, but once I realized there was a bus stop right outside my apartment, I would just head there in the mornings.

Biking to work is a great way to feel energized in the mornings. I am by no means a morning person, but a quick burst of activity, plus a feeling of accomplishment really makes me feel great.

I’ve always heard that morning exercise is the best, but I never seemed able to do it. I hate waking up early (and going to bed early). And too much exercise just drains me by lunch time. But this is just enough to get me going. Obviously, there are hazards (DC traffic), but that keeps you on your toes, haha.

I do wonder if there are negative effects from breathing in so much car exhaust. However, I’m too paranoid to google the question because I don’t really want to know the answer (if I’m going to get lung cancer, don’t tell me!).

Also, now that I’ve started biking, I’ve found out a lot of my friends own bikes and want to use them. We’ve got some great rides planned for upcoming weekends. Isn’t it interesting that once you start doing something, you find so many others looking for the same thing?

I keep stressing the idea of balance and fun. I’m not a morning exerciser, there’s no way that could ever happen, so I don’t fight it. I don’t try to make myself do something I hate. Biking to work is fun, fast, and a better commute. It’s the perfect balance for me.

Now, biking home, sometimes that just sucks, haha. At least I don’t live uphill. There are supposed to be terrible storms this afternoon, so fingers crossed for me!

Say Yes To Stress

This is going to be short and sweet because I have so much to do tonight.

I was running around all day at work, and when I was on my way home, I had a mini-revelation. I was so busy all day that I didn't have time to sit and dwell on food. And, knowing I still had so much to do over the next few days, I saw eating as an opportunity to really use food as fuel. 

So many times people use stress as an excuse to eat poorly, but it's really a chance for us to give ourselves more of the healthy foods we need. When we know we have to be in a million places at once and burn the midnight oil, we should be turning to healthier options. Stress puts us in a situation of giving maximum output, but we won't be our best unless we fuel ourselves the right way.

Does stress turn you into a cookie monster or an extreme machine?

Also, on another quick note about challenges, it looks like I won't have an opportunity to work out much (if at all this weekend). I usually dread these times because I look to burn off some of those extra calories by hitting the gym. But, I think this is a chance to see how I do eating mindfully. If I'm not stuffing myself, I should be a-ok. Not that I advocate giving up fitness for any length of time, but realistically, a 30 minute workout only burns a few cookies. If I'm living the non-diet life, I should be listening to my needs and not my wants.

Ok, that's all I have time for. Happy Memorial Weekend!