The Dieter's Paradox

There's a bit of a Catch-22 when it comes to all this. If you truly love and accept yourself, how can you want to change yourself? Aren't these two ideas complete opposites?

I guess the shortest answer is: it depends. It matters what your desires to change are based upon. If you look in the mirror and say "I hate (insert body part)," then you aren't actually accepting yourself. If you look at a magazine and think "I wish I looked like (insert celebrity or model)," then your desire to change is not based in improving yourself.

I think that if you do really love yourself, the idea isn't so much about change, but about preserving and improving. You want to be the best version of yourself. You want to push yourself to be better, not just more fit. It's why we continue to go to school, earning bachelor's and master's degrees. It's why we sign up for marathons or Italian lessons.

The thing we absolutely don't want to be is stagnant. You'd never set about trying to compose a masterpiece when you don't know how to play the piano, right? You accept that that's not one of your skills. You accept that you're better at math than writing. You can accept all different aspects of yourself except your appearance. That doesn't make much sense!
I strongly believe that you can't succeed in change if your desire to change is based on outside forces. It has to come from within. That's why it's so hard. Think about the people that are told they have high cholesterol or blood pressure or diabetes that then go on to change their lives. They do because their health is at risk. It's no longer about aesthetics, it's about survival.

If it were easy to change because we want to look good on the beach, then we'd all have done it by now. One of the reasons it's not easy is because we haven't accepted ourselves and, therefore, our goals are all off. I'd love to have legs like Gisele, but that's not going to happen. Ever. First of all, I'm 5'5". But, does that mean I can't have fit legs? No way. I just have to accept who I am and make a decision about what fit legs means for me.

Of course, I'm always going to push myself to do more, to be more. I keep coming back to the idea of balance. I have it in so many places in my life. This is one area where it's hard for me, but I'm gaining perspective. Sometimes the harder thing is easing up.

Fighting Back Against Clones

I guess this shouldn't all be about food and exercise. That would be pretty boring. This is about life and living life to the fullest. And, sometimes that involves reflecting and changing course.

I've been taking a class about conflict management and negotiation. You might think that really doesn't have anything to do with this blog, but hear me out (or at least keep reading). Today we talked about recognizing when you've gotten into a bad situation and how to get out. I think that can be applied to a lot of areas in our lives, relationships, financial endeavors, and even our diet and exercise plans.

Think about it. How focused are you on reaching a certain weight? On eating a certain number of calories? On running a certain distance? You've thought a lot about these things, but what do they really mean? And if you get there, what happens next? The fact is, most of us forget about being healthy in an effort to be "perfect."

And this is my next point. How awful would the world be if we were all "perfect?" I think we often get lost in the thoughts that people will only accept us if we meet these incredibly high standards that we only hold ourselves to. Physical standards, anyways.

When you think about what you like most about your spouse/partner/bf/gf (whoever), is it their rockin' bod or something else? Is it their smile, their thoughtfulness, their work ethic or sense of humor? Or are there even more intangibles that you can't quite describe because they sound dumb when you say them out loud ("he just gets me, ya know??"). It's pretty obvious that the things we value most in other people are not biceps and abs.

If we just took a moment to recognize what we like about other people, and think maybe, just maybe, people value those things about us, I bet we'd all be a lot happier. And a lot less hard on ourselves. The world would be terrible if we were all the same, so celebrate the individual gifts you have to offer.

Being in good health is important, no doubt. And, it's something that's achievable. Part of my whole plan is to focus on the things that bring me good health, like fitness and eating fruits and veggies. But not killing myself in the gym or making foods off-limits. Balance, commitment, and sustainability are what I'm after. So I'm not going to be so hard on myself (and I won't be hard on you either, I promise).